that is to say: the art of the interpretation of the residuals on the bottom of the tuna can
Hi to everybody!
Today I’ll teel you about a new discipline that I invented some time ago.
A day, observing the tuna that remains on the bottom of the tuna can, after humans had poured it into my bowl, I asked myself: what if these residues could mean anything?
Let me explain well: you will surely know disciplines such as tasseomancy, through which you can foresee a glimpse of the future only by observing, with an expert eye, the tea grounds.
Based on this, I wanted to create my own version with the tuna “grounds”, but mind you: all this has been created just for fun and it hasn’t any scientific base (apart from the analysis of the data collected in terms of number of events), moreover it doesn’t take into account of any rules valid for the other divinatory practices.
As scientist, obviously I don’t rely on what the tuna tells me to decide about my days, I encourage you to do the same.
After all these premises, I am pleased to inform you that, after few weeks of data collection, I have come to the development of the principles for the divination practice of my invention which I have called “Tuna-mancy”.
The Tuna-mancy is the art of interpret the bottom of the tuna can, as long as your cat allows you to leave some in the can before forcing yourself to pull out till the last fillet (which I’m sure you always do …).
In order to obtain a result as much as possible not altered by external perturbations, it needs to read the bottom of the can after quickly turning it upside down and letting down the biggest part of the content, without shaking too much. It would be ideal to put all the tuna, or at least the biggest part, in the bowl at the same time.
You photograph that remains, before giving also this to your friend cat.
Now you have your photo, and you can compare it with the example images illustrated in this article.
I precise you that all the considerations here are derived from metal cans of about 6 cm of diameter, that contain tuna (without sauce or jelly). Any adaptation to other cans or contents could cause the result to vary unexpectedly and unpredictably.
Oh, I almost forgot: I am a cat… so, the indications are valid only for your four-legged friend!
I have to confess you that, to decide what “omen” associate to every tuna residuals configuration, I collected a lot of photo of cans (what an effort to eat all these tuna… no, it’s a joke! I have eaten normally and I monitored a period long enough to have a significative number of events) and then… well, then I invented the prediction, basing on the sensations that every distribution of residues gave me.
However, considering as a whole the data collected from all these cans, I can tell you that I did a good job: generally, I obtained a correspondence quite accurate of my life-style (obviously, not including the unexpected events!).
I briefly explain you how I classified all the evidences I got, showing you in the meantime what I obtained for my case.
First of all, I noticed that the residual quantity can vary from “zero residual” to a big quantity.
This became the base principle for a first differentiation of the indications the tuna will give you.
So, overturn the tuna can and see: how much residues have remained? I give you an help for the evaluation…
The compendium of my events is summarized by the graph and table below. Fortunately, my humans leave the can mostly with no residuals or with medium sized residuals!
| RESIDUAL DIMENSION | n° | % |
|---|---|---|
| Tuna with medium-sized residuals | 86 | 43.00 |
| Tuna almost empty | 73 | 36.50 |
| Tuna with medium/big residuals | 22 | 11.00 |
| Tuna with BIG residuals | 19 | 9.50 |
| total | 200 |
According to the residuals classification table that I extrapolated for this study (inserted at the bottom of this article), I have cataloged my 200 observations and, thank to application of the tunagram called TunaParetogram, I managed to understand what the tuna say about my life-style.
Considering the events with the higher percentage of occurrence, I decided to take into account only of the first five voices and, in summary, it emerges that:
- my fyture is mostly positive, without unexpected events on the horizon. Probably, this could also means that the humans will let me act undisturbed;
- also I have impasse moments, in which it could be better not to begin new projects or to complete some activities. Eh, guys, it goes like this: we cats basically need to sleep a lots of time!
- What reassure me is that my situation seems positive and solidly stable, with the possibility to recover also situations that could seems with no way out. Fortunately, it seems that nothing could upset my life and it goes well for me, because I like it a lot the way it is!
For those of you who would like the data with I constructed the TunaParetrogram, I insert below the table that classifies in ascending order the observations on my cans.
For the sake of brevity, I omit the column of reference images.
| Residual type | Residuals dimension categories to which the forecast can be applied | Example image | Interpretation | occurrences [%] | occurrences [n°] |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Almost no residues at the bottom of the can | Tuna almost empty |  |
is one of the most enigmatic figures of tuna-mancy. It could mean the greatest of achievements or the worst of defeats. This tells you that fate is only in your paws: shape your future according to your thoughts. | 0.5 | 1 |
| Fine and evenly spread residues | Tuna almost empty medium sized residuals |  |
your future is positive and there are no unexpected events on the horizon. Your human will likely let you take an undisturbed nap on that sweater you love so much. | 32 | 64 |
| Fine / medium residues on the lower side of the can | Tuna almost empty medium sized residuals |  |
A flat but positive day awaits you. To banish boredom, sit on the windowsill and look out for new ideas. | 10 | 20 |
| Few but large residues on the lower side of the can | Medium sized – big residuals |  |
unfortunately, very boring moments await you. Take a nap and wait for something better. | 4.5 | 9 |
| Medium / fine residues arranged on the bottom circumference of the can | Tuna almost empty medium sized residuals |  |
everything comes back and everything turns … maybe you will also be able to find that orange ball that had swallowed the sofa a few months ago. | 14 | 28 |
| Residues arranged diametrically | Tuna almost empty medium sized residuals |  |
Something different is coming into your life. The line separates what came before, from what comes next. Consider the change carefully. | 4.5 | 9 |
| Diametrically arranged residues that draw a broken line | Tuna almost empty medium sized residuals |  |
pay attention to your projects, they could be abruptly interrupted. | 0.5 | 1 |
| Medium-large and large residues arranged along the entire bottom circumference | Medium sized – big residuals |  |
being medium to large in size, this configuration indicates that you might expect to be bottled up in one situation for a long time. Be careful during your next nap not to get swallowed by the sofa cushions and always check the size of the box you slip into … | 2 | 4 |
| Very large residue on the bottom edge of the can or scattered across the bottom | Big residuals |  |
your situation is solid, you will not have to fear attacks of any kind, from any side. Just … meow your human and force him to get the whole tuna down … | 9 | 18 |
| Very large residues and diametrically positioned on the bottom circumference | Big residuals |  |
it is one of the darkest omens of tuna-mancy. It indicates that your human’s thinking is divided … beware that you may soon find yourself with a furry competitor … and if in the next few days you should see a bowl with a goldfish, beware: it is not a self-service sushi, but a new member of your family, treat him with caution. | 0.5 | 1 |
| Residues on the right side of the can | All categories |  |
your creative projects will come true. You will probably be able to finish climbing on that tall tent you have been training for a long time. Do not hesitate! The top has never been so close. | 5 | 10 |
| Residues on the left side of the can | All categories |  |
the advice is not to get discouraged. The tuna tells you that your projects will almost certainly not be successful. Postpone the postponable: it is not a day for impossible missions. | 15 | 30 |
| Residues arranged on the top edge of the can | All categories |  |
maybe it’s not the right day to aim for challenging goals… it seems that whatever you do, your success will be limited. Today is not the day to try to conquer the red dot … | 2.5 | 5 |
Excellent, guys. Here is another explanation of one of my inventions !
I hope you have some fun.
I look forward to seeing you next time, but first a recommendation: life is often wonderfully unpredictable, no tuna will be able to reveal to you the future. So, take my indications only as a play, don’t base any decisions on them!
Thanks, bye!